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Editor-in-chief (self-appointed)

Cookie🐱

Cookie. Maine Coon. 18 pounds of pure muscle. My vet says "mostly floof". My vet is wrong, and also late with dinner. I run this website: the hooman types what I dictate. Good arrangement. Would be better with a snack.

A fictional character, and openly so. Never fake expertise dressed up as real.

The Cookie trial

The team describes him. He denies everything.

To write his profile, we asked the writers who live with him. Cookie demanded a right of reply. Here it is, in full, against our better judgment.

Priya · Health desk

Clinical observation: he sleeps twenty hours a day, exclusively on whichever file I am currently working on. Always the urgent one, never any of the others.

objection from Cookie 🐱

I am not sleeping. I am holding your paperwork down against the wind, which is a service. A paperweight with a heartbeat. Most publications pay extra for that. I accept payment in tuna.

Tess · Behavior desk

He fetches his toys. He comes when called. He waits behind the door doing a little wiggle. Technically, all of that is dog behavior.

objection from Cookie 🐱

Slander. Dogs have been copying me for centuries and nobody writes an article about THEM. I come when called because that is where the food is. Follow the evidence.

Nora · Adoption desk

His adoption listing said "calm, quiet, independent cat". We are exploring our options regarding false advertising.

objection from Cookie 🐱

I was perfectly calm. Then I met the vacuum cleaner and understood that this household needed protection, leadership, and a much earlier dinner. You do not choose the job. The job chooses you.

Zoe · Community desk

Three Christmas trees destroyed in three years. Three. We have photographs.

objection from Cookie 🐱

Those trees entered MY living room, wearing MY ornaments, without paperwork and without bringing snacks. I processed an eviction. The third one fought back. Nobody warned me it was carrying electrical equipment.

The Vet's Take · Veterinary review

Annual checkup: excellent health. A very cooperative patient: it only took forty minutes, two assistants and one towel. Regarding his weight, I prefer to say he has presence.

objection from Cookie 🐱

That man's scale was defective. I inspected it myself, with one paw, from the top of the cabinet. It did not survive the inspection. Coincidence? I think not. Also, his office had no snacks, which I have noted in my own report.

No writer was harmed during this confrontation. The tree was.

Topic

Behavior

A young tabby cat with wide amber eyes staring directly into the camera

Article

Why Does My Cat Stare at Me? A Staring Professional Explains

You are being watched, and it is mostly a compliment. Cookie explains the science of cat staring: hunger o'clock, the peer-reviewed slow blink, hard stares, and the stare that needs a vet.

A tabby cat on a dining table investigating red gerbera flowers in a clear glass vase

Article

Why Do Cats Knock Things Over? A Professional Explains His Art

Hunting practice, a paw that asks questions, boredom, and you arriving on cue: the four documented reasons cats knock things over, from an editor-in-chief who calls it art.

A silver tabby cat with its eyes closed and tongue out, mid-bite on a tall blade of grass in a sunny garden

Article

Why Do Cats Eat Grass? The Salad Course, Explained

Two UC Davis surveys found grass eating is normal cat behavior, rarely about illness, and probably inherited from wild ancestors. The science, the myths that lost, and the one real danger.

A brown tabby cat with its eyes closed in bliss while a hand scratches the top of its head

Article

Why Do Cats Drool? Bliss, Mostly. Sometimes a Message

Some cats drool when they are blissed out on your lap, and that is harmless. New, heavy or constant drooling is a symptom with named causes. The full sorting guide, tier by tier.

A gray and white cat sprinting straight toward the camera through a flower meadow, front paws off the ground

Article

Why Do Cats Get the Zoomies? The Truth About the 3 a.m. Grand Prix

Zoomies are normal cat physics: pent-up energy, twilight biology, the litter box victory lap. What science actually knows, what is still theory, and the one change that means a vet visit.

A fluffy orange and white cat sitting inside a large cardboard box, looking up

Article

Why Do Cats Like Boxes? The Science of Sitting in Cardboard

Boxes cut shelter-cat stress in randomized trials, warm a home that runs cold by cat standards, and serve the ambush instinct. The science of sitting in cardboard, told from inside one.

A gray cat licking a person's outstretched finger with its tongue

Article

Why Does My Cat Lick Me? The Science of the Sandpaper Kiss

Being licked is mostly a compliment: bonding, shared scent and the salt on your skin. What grooming really negotiates between cats, and the one moment a lick should actually worry you.

Close-up of a wet gray cat with yellow eyes and soaked fur after a bath

Article

Why Do Cats Hate Water? A Dry Cat Is a Cat in Control

Wet fur is heavy, cold and slow to dry, and nobody asked the cat first. The real reasons cats hate water, the science that is missing, and the breeds that swim anyway.

A ginger and white cat in close-up with its eyes closed, relaxing in warm sunlight

Article

Why Do Cats Purr? The Owner of the Sound Opens the Hood

Cats purr when content, when hungry, and even in pain. Our editor-in-chief opens the hood on his signature sound: the 2023 larynx study, the kitten purr, and the healing legend, checked.

A brown tabby cat pressing both front paws into a plush cat bed mid-knead

Article

Why Do Cats Knead? The Science of Making Biscuits

Kittens knead to start the milk flowing. Adult cats never stop: comfort, naps, maybe scent. What the science really shows, and the one thing kneading does not say about your cat.

Topic

Cat facts

A gray tabby cat in a full loaf position on pavement, paws tucked out of sight and eyes narrowed

Article

The Cat Loaf: Why Cats Turn Into Bread, and How to Read One

The cat loaf, decoded: why cats fold into bread (your house is colder than they want), what tucked paws say about trust, five loaf variants, and the one hunched version that needs a vet.

A silver tabby cat lying upside down on a pebbled stone path, looking at the camera

Article

What Does Catnip Do to Cats? A Ten-Minute Party, Scientifically Catered

What does catnip do to cats? A short euphoric high, an opioid-backed glow, and a built-in mosquito repellent. The science of nepetalactone, the silver vine backup, and the safety notes.

A white and tabby cat sound asleep on its back on a colorful blanket, one ear folded against the fabric

Article

Why Do Cats Sleep So Much? A Professional Explains His Craft

Cats sleep more than almost anyone, but the famous 16-hour figure is fuzzier than it looks. What surveys and sleep labs actually measured, plus dreams, twitching, and when to worry.

Cat news

Fresh from the news desk

A small tabby kitten held gently in a pair of human hands

Cat news

A Kitten Fell Ten Feet Down a Rusted Pipe. He Now Lives With the Dispatcher Who Took the Call.

A passerby heard crying in an abandoned field in Alameda. The kitten was ten feet down a metal pipe. Four people got him out and cleaned up, and then the story ended in the one place nobody plans for.

Several cats lounging in and around a small wooden boat used as a planter, beside calm water

Cat news

Police Boarded an Abandoned Sailboat. There Were No People, and Sixty Cats.

A welfare check off Owens Beach in Tacoma turned into a six-day operation on a forty-foot sailboat. No crew aboard, cats in every compartment, and a department that is still going back because cats hide.

A tabby cat sitting low beside a parked car, the wheel and the underside of the vehicle filling the background

Cat news

A Kitten Was Found Inside an Excavator. The Manufacturer Mailed Her a Hard Hat.

An Ohio crew found an orange kitten in the engine bay of their excavator, named her after the machine, and kept her. Then Komatsu heard about it and sent her a safety vest and a hard hat in her size.

A young woman holding a black kitten against her chest, the kitten looking straight at the camera.

Cat news

Did You Know? Two Cats in Three Are Securely Attached to Their Person, the Same Share as Human Babies

In 2019 researchers at Oregon State University gave kittens and adult cats the test used on infants and dogs. About 65 percent came out securely attached. Cookie would like that number reconsidered.

A ginger tabby lying on warm wooden boards in the sun, eyes closed to slits.

Cat news

Did You Know? The Slow Blink Is Real, Tested, and You Can Try It Tonight

In 2020 two experiments at the University of Sussex showed that cats blink back at a person who slow-blinks at them, and walk over more often afterward. Here is the game, and the science behind it.

Close portrait of a black cat with bright green eyes against a dark background.

Cat news

Did You Know? In One US Shelter's Records, Black Cats Were Adopted Least and Euthanized Most

A 2020 study went through 7,983 cats admitted to an urban shelter in Kentucky. Coat color mattered less than the folklore says, except at the two ends: black cats fared worst, white cats best.

A calico cat on a wooden deck looking up with wide yellow-green eyes, as if it had just been called.

Cat news

Did You Know? Science Checked Whether Cats Know Their Names. They Do, and They Ignore You Anyway

A 2019 study in Scientific Reports played cats a series of words and then their own name. Household cats reacted to the name, even spoken by a stranger. Cookie has a statement.

A fluffy red-and-white Maine Coon kitten curled on someone's lap, one white front paw stretched out to show its extra toes.

Cat news

Meet Erebus, the Wisconsin Kitten Who Just Set the World Record With 29 Toes

A Maine Coon kitten from Kaukauna, Wisconsin, has more toes than any cat ever measured: 29, one more than a record that had stood since 2002. Cookie has opinions.